He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
