my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Randomize
