And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize