I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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