Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
do herpes really smell.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
