You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
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