please come you make the beer taste better
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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