I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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