You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I'm bleeding and have questions
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
