I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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