I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
