Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
