Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
