Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Randomize
