If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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