We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
