i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
