Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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