Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
