hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
