8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
