So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
