I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
