I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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