i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
