MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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