so that wasnt chicken after all
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
