Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
The beer is more important than you right now.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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