do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
