You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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