His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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