you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
