Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
