Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
