so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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