just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
