I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize