the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
