I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I'm getting married
To pizza
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
