Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
