i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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