Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Randomize
