i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
