Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
