Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
