okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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