But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
