he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
