Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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