So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize