haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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