Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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