we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
It's shark week go big or go home
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
