who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Randomize
