My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
