my sisters under your porch take her home
please come you make the beer taste better
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize