Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
My vagina is officially offended.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
