I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Randomize
