South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
