i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize