be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You have to summon your inner elephant
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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