The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
