I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
