It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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