dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
