the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
