great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Randomize
