All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
