I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
