He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
